Gavin Newsom: They Told Me It Was Political Suicide. I Did It Anyway

This effort is excerpted from Gov. Gavin Newsom’s caller memoir, “Young Man successful a Hurry: A Memoir of Discovery.”

On January 20, 2004, I took a spot successful nan assemblage of nan House of Representatives to perceive President Bush present his State of nan Union address. The spot came courtesy of House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. Ten months earlier, Bush had made nan determination to invade Iraq aft his administration’s historical run of lies convinced nan American group that Saddam Hussein possessed weapons of wide destruction. We would not extricate ourselves from that costly conflict for different seventeen years. Much of his reside that nighttime was a further effort to waste to nan federation nan justification for his war. “Had we grounded to act, nan dictator’s weapons of wide demolition programs would proceed to this day,” Bush said. He characterized nan Patriot Act, which had unleashed a caller magnitude of spying connected American citizens, arsenic “one of those basal tools” successful nan warfare connected terror.

“Young Man successful a Hurry: A Memoir of Discovery” by Gavin Newsom

(Penguin Press)

The remainder of his reside was modular fare, ho-hum really, until he reached a conception adjacent nan extremity astir American values and nan request for america to “work together to antagonistic nan antagonistic influences of nan civilization and to nonstop nan correct messages to our children.” He said he was troubled by activistic judges successful activistic states who were threatening to undo nan Defense of Marriage Act signed into rule by his predecessor, President Bill Clinton. We had to “defend nan sanctity of marriage” arsenic nan national of 1 man and 1 woman, he said. If request be, he would activity a law amendment to prohibition same-sex marriage.

As I was leaving nan chamber, a middle-aged mates adjacent to maine was talking astir really pleased they were that their president was yet confronting nan “homosexual agenda.” The connection homosexual came retired of their mouths bent by contempt. I was expected to caput downstairs for a reception pinch Congresswoman Pelosi and a delegation of California Democrats, but I needed a activity of caller air. Outside nan Capitol, I kept stepping and muttering to myself. “These are my group Bush is attacking. My constituents. My staff. My closest advisers.” In nan acold and acheronian of Washington, I called 1 of my aides backmost successful San Francisco and pledged that I was “going to do thing astir it” arsenic soon arsenic I returned home.

The rule successful our authorities was nary different from nan rule successful each different state. Same-sex unions could not beryllium recognized by nan section assessor-recorder’s office. They were illegal. As I explained to aides my willingness to now defy that law, I held up a transcript of nan California Constitution. In Article I, nan first conception promises that “all group are by quality free and independent and person inalienable rights.” Among these authorities are pursuing and obtaining “safety, happiness and privacy.” It was not until Section 7.5 that these authorities were past abridged: “Only a matrimony betwixt a man and a female is valid aliases recognized successful California.” This not only contradicted nan first conception but was discriminatory connected its face.

My apical unit didn’t disagree pinch my reading, but almost to a personification they were opposed to my taking connected nan issue. Steve Kawa, my main of staff, a cheery Bostonian whose accent trim done each nonsense, pulled maine speech and said from his heart. His begetter had renounced him for being gay, and he wanted thing much than to unrecorded successful an America wherever homophobia was nary longer nan norm. But swinging unfastened nan doors to nan metropolis clerk’s agency and inviting cheery men and lesbian women to nan matrimony altar was governmental suicide, he argued. We were caller to office, for 1 thing. And polls showed that little than 1 3rd of Californians supported cheery marriage.

The “go it slow” admonition was nan mother’s beverage of Democratic politics. In nan endless conflict for nan hearts and minds of moderates, it seemed nan only feasible measurement for a Democrat to get elected and govern. But this was San Francisco, and we were talking astir adjacent protection nether nan rule for a people of group whose ostracism by family, friends, and organization had brought them to San Francisco successful nan first place. If not here, where? Eric Jaye, 1 of my run consultants, could spot my quandary. I was caught betwixt my conscience and nan sound governmental proposal of nan group closest to me. We had respective late-night conversations connected nan phone. “What nan f— are you doing here? Why did we activity truthful difficult to triumph if you can’t do thing bold?” he asked. “This is simply a short life, Gavin. Your clip arsenic a leader to get things done is conscionable a blip.”

I thought backmost to my exemplary for nan vino store. The full intent was to move nan staid connected its caput and create a caller reality. I called Joyce Newstat, my argumentation director, who was besides gay. “We request to do this,” I told her. She could perceive successful my sound that I had made up my mind. “OK, but we can’t spend to return a incorrect step,” she said. “Gays and lesbians person a history of being blindsided, and you don’t want to go portion of that narrative. Give maine a week aliases 2 to scope retired to nan community.” Joyce sat down pinch Kate Kendell, nan superb executive head of nan National Center for Lesbian Rights, based successful San Francisco. “Who is this guy?” Kendell wondered. “He can’t conscionable travel waltzing successful present and upset nan delicate equilibrium we’ve taken years to achieve.” Joyce told her I couldn’t beryllium talked retired of it, that it had go internalized aft I had gone to Washington and heard nan words of bigotry ringing retired successful nan Capitol. “Well, OK. But if he’s going to do it, he has to do it right,” Kendell said. She directed her attorneys astatine nan halfway to activity pinch our squad connected fashioning a plan.

I past went to Mabel Teng, my erstwhile workfellow connected nan committee of supervisors who was now nan assessor-recorder of San Francisco. I asked her what complications would beryllium presented to her charismatic duties if we allowed same-sex marriages astatine metropolis hall. Mabel, who began her profession successful authorities arsenic an activistic pinch Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow Coalition, did not astonishment maine pinch her reply. “It would beryllium nary problem astatine all, Mayor.” The matrimony of a man and a man, aliases a female and a woman, would require hardly immoderate alteration to nan paperwork. Rather than “man and wife,” they would show up successful her machine arsenic “Applicant One” and “Applicant Two.”

Alarmed by my plans, my begetter and Uncle Brennan and their adjacent friend Joe Cotchett — each 1 steeped successful rule and authorities but only Joe opinionated six ft 4 and a erstwhile Special Forces paratrooper —attempted a last-minute intervention. They lured maine to nan Balboa Cafe for meal and wine. They weren’t nan benignant to hit astir nan bush. Did I recognize that I was astir to torpedo my governmental career?

Joe sewage correct successful my face. “Why are you doing this, Gavin?”

“I’ll show you why I’m doing this,” I said defiantly. “Because it’s nan correct point to do.”

I could not person fixed him a much elemental and existent answer, and it seemed to deed Joe, who had built his profession retired of representing nan underdog, correct successful nan gut.

“OK,” he said successful a different voice. “Then let’s do it.”

With that, my begetter and uncle went quiet. Not different connection was said astir it. I near location that nighttime reasoning that moreover my Newsom kin, nan ones who had my champion interests astatine heart, could get it incorrect from clip to time. While I was unfastened to skepticism and second-guessing, so I welcomed specified a process, successful nan extremity I had to spot my ain gut. On nan matter of civilian authorities for each Californians, location was nary turning back. As for large Joe Cotchett, he ended up joining nan ranks of lawyers fighting for nan ineligible correct to same-sex marriage.

From “Young Man successful a Hurry: A Memoir of Discovery” by Gavin Newsom, published by Penguin Press, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a section of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © 2026 by Gavin Newsom.