Why Do Older Men Keep Hitting On Me At The Supermarket?

I woke up early, stretched retired my arms and was happy to beryllium unsocial pinch nan full time up of maine pinch nary plans. I decided connected a whim to thrust 18 miles crossed municipality to nan Santa Monica Farmers Market. The 10 Freeway was magically devoid of postulation connected this grey Saturday morning, and if my car had a soul, it would beryllium for illustration that of a racehorse.

It took 20 minutes to get to nan Lincoln Boulevard exit. Deep breaths of cool marine aerial kept that giddy emotion going.

After I was done shopping for seasonal produce, having been whacked successful nan look by feathery carrot tops poking retired of a straw French marketplace handbasket and rammed connected nan shin by a stroller occupied by a mini dog, I headed complete to Bay Cities Italian Deli & Bakery.

I lived successful New York for 41 years earlier moving to Los Angeles 7 years ago. I missed genuine Italian markets — nan benignant wherever they carve a slab of Parmesan retired of a freshly trim instrumentality and connection you a portion to taste.

I whitethorn nary longer beryllium fertile, but precocious greeting hours successful nan prepared nutrient conception of gourmand-type supermarkets are fertile grounds for reliving nan acquisition of what it was for illustration to beryllium gazed astatine pinch desire by antheral eyes — successful this lawsuit nan eyes of older men who, for immoderate reason, are now surviving alone.

How do I cognize they’re surviving solo? I’m observant and spot nan single-sized portions of what they order.

The man down maine beamed arsenic he watched maine return items retired of my basket. “You’re buying nan full store,” he said.

Thud. That joke landed flat.

Since he was expecting a response, I was forced into being uncharacteristically polite. I mumbled, “This spot reminds maine of New York,” hoping that would extremity nan dialogue.

“I’m from New York! But we moved present erstwhile I was 5 years old. I’m 86 now.”

Twenty years older than maine and still successful bully shape. Good for him. Must beryllium nan food and pasta diet.

I didn’t ask, but he offered plentifulness of accusation astir himself: still working, lives alone, loves music, enjoys bully food.

“I person ever supported nan arts,” he said aft asking if I was an artist. Did I springiness disconnected that vibe?

My jeans, sneakers and hoodie were each plain and gender neutral. You’d deliberation looking that measurement I would pull women, but possibly women are amended astatine taking attraction of themselves and don’t spell astir broadcasting their request for company.

I hastened my measurement to my car, not dawdling for a 2nd to cheque messages erstwhile planted successful nan driver’s seat. I slipped retired nan backmost of nan batch and done nan alley.

A fewer days later astatine Gelson’s, I caught an older man watching maine publication ingredients connected a mustard label. He smiled aft I busted him for looking, which made maine recoil successful scary and quickly dart complete to hide successful nan pet nutrient aisle. He showed up a infinitesimal later, eyeing nan contents of my shopping cart and utilized nan feline nutrient successful it arsenic an icebreaker to inquire astir my cat.

I said I had 5 cats, which was existent if you included nan semi-feral ones who show up each time for their 3rd aliases 4th meal. There are a batch of kindhearted animal lovers successful my neighborhood. I hoped my feline woman image, usually an instant man repellent, would make nan man spell away.

At nan checkout, different older man asked astir nan vino I was cautiously laying down sideways connected nan fast-moving conveyor belt. Wine, feline nutrient and mustard. This man wanted to cognize what I was making for meal later that would spell pinch nan wine.

You did not conscionable inquire maine that, I thought. Perhaps he pictured a shared meal, clinking glasses and possibly a nostalgic movie connected nan sofa earlier comfortably sinking into slumber and large farting. He’d beryllium safe successful nan institution of different quality being who mightiness screen him pinch a broad and buss him connected nan forehead, a motion I mostly reserve for my cats.

Loneliness successful azygous older group is real, and conflicting reports astir which gender is much susceptible show maine nothing. I’ll tie my ain unscientific conclusions. All I tin opportunity is I haven’t been shown this overmuch liking successful decades. My friend Marlene, who has besides knowledgeable this supermarket arena — and it’s easy to spot why because she is beautiful and blond — says nan men are either looking for a caregiver aliases a purse.

The pursuing day, aft a late-morning dentist appointment, I was astatine nan Bristol Farms connected Wilshire Boulevard erstwhile an older man who was shorter than I americium (I’m 5-foot-4) offered to thief maine get a package of muesli (an aged personification staple) from nan apical shelf.

He commented that nan spicy tuna sushi successful my cart was a bully choice. Why do you deliberation I’m getting it? I thought. Also having conscionable travel from nan dentist, I was looking guardant to a acold and soft lunch, and Bristol Farms’ is beautiful decent. I’m half Japanese and captious of supermarket sushi. Plus, I was famished pinch nan benignant of hunger that accompanies nan dissipating accent aft leaving nan dentist.

I couldn’t hold to rip into nan instrumentality nan infinitesimal I sewage successful nan car contempt knowing that I’d make a large messiness attempting to ingest my luncheon while hunks of food and atom tumbled retired of my numb mouth. Grrrrr … hot! Hot messiness was much for illustration it, I thought.

Maybe I should person been receptive to nan man’s benignant connection to scope nan apical support moreover if it meant I mightiness person had to hoist him up and consequence copping an accidental consciousness that would intelligibly nonstop nan incorrect message. I scanned nan parking batch and wondered which 1 of these luxury vehicles was his. I checked my teeth successful nan visor reflector and was instantly horrified by heavy saggy jowls, oculus bags and liver spots.

What if this feline was a lonely integrative surgeon, I thought. Maybe I should beryllium looking for a purse.

In California, everyone seems to person a friend who is into tarot and astrology. I’m skeptical but I called my clairvoyant friend to spot if location was a logic for this abrupt antheral attraction and whether I should see getting transportation from now on. How disappointing erstwhile she told maine she saw thing retired of nan ordinary.

Maybe nan adjacent clip an older man flirts pinch me, I’ll effort a societal research and return nan bait to spot wherever this geriatric mating creation could go. I’ll person to fto you cognize really it turns out.

The writer is simply a erstwhile world caput of photography for Reuters. Since moving to Los Angeles, she became a writer. She’s connected Substack and Instagram @nancyglowinski.

L.A. Affairs chronicles nan hunt for romanticist emotion successful each its glorious expressions successful nan L.A. area, and we want to perceive your existent story. We salary $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You tin find submission guidelines here. You tin find past columns here.